Is Easter Sunday considered a holiday, a holy day or a celebration? Is it a national holiday or a religious holiday? Maybe it’s an “observance”. Is it just an “observance” or is it a “Catholic observance”? No, that can’t be right. What about the Greek Orthodox? They’re observing this Sunday too. Or maybe they’re celebrating instead.
Truth be told I think it’s the Catholics’ fault that their Easter Sunday falls on the same date as the Greek Orthodox Easter observance this year because everyone knows that the Catholics always show up late for Sunday mass.
Should we rename Easter this year to “Greekster”? How about, “GO-Easter”? Um, on second thought I think “GO-Easter” might offend someone. It sounds just a little too cheerleader to me.
What do I do now? I’ve got less than 2 days to figure this shit out and buy all the groceries. Sorry for cursing back there. Is it too late to give up four letter words for Lent?
Should I bake Easter Bread (Greek Orthodox) or Easter Pie (Catholic)? Will I insult everyone if I do both?
Should I roast a leg of lamb (Greek Orthodox) or bake a spiral ham (Catholic)?
What about dessert?
What color(s) do I dye the eggs for the egg hunt? Red (Greek) or Pink, Blue, Green and Yellow (Catholics and heathens)?
We’re supposed to dance around the Maypole. Right? I mean, wrong. That’s on May Day. That’s in May. Right?
Do I go to services at the Catholic Church, the Roman Catholic Church or the Greek Orthodox Church? Maybe I should go to the Vertical Church, they accept everyone.
Scratch that. I don’t go to church except when I attend a wedding or a funeral. At least they have the courtesy to tell me where to go.
Hopefully I’ll figure this all out in time and without getting too much egg on my face.
Here’s wishing everyone a Healthy and Happy Easter? Greekster? Whatever!